To Be the Man I am

Fighting conventions
To be the man I am
It’s a losing fight
Slowly I lose heart
Where is the respect?
Media masks me
Tells them I’m shallow
That I’m not different
Where do I go?
Do I fit in?
Or fight fight,
Though it’s a losing cause.
Maybe they will see
The man I am.
The image of culture
Always before me.
Does it matter what I do?
What I say?
Who I am?
I wish it would
But I cant see
The silver lining
I hope is waiting for me.
They say a good guy is hard to find
But are they really looking?
Here I am,
I'm trying
To be the man I am.

Where are you now?

Oh lord where are you now?
You were with me
Though my sins abounded
It was my darkest hour
But your face was there
Clear in my sight
Guiding me through
To the light I see now
But
Now in the clear
Your presence has left
Your face it hides
In the clearness of the sky
I long to feel your warmth
The way I once did
Must I suffer to feel you
To see you
To be near?
Help me to find you now
My life is good
But still you aren’t found
The biggest problem is now
That you aren’t here
in my joy
in my prospers
in my victories.

Be Still My Mind

Be still my mind,
As confusion knocks;
A flood of thoughts
That blinds clear sight.
Oh, Lord
Only you can relax my mind,
My attempts are vain,
And create a fog
That only your breath can clear.
Speak your words,
Relay your will,
Oh Lord,
Make my mind be still.

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I’ve never seen the seas be parted,
Or the bread fall from the sky,
But still I see your hand
With me, at my side.

Keeping me near,
Guiding me still,
Your spirit is in me
Working your will.

I know your plan is perfect,
Though I might not see,
I see mine own desires
Hoping they will please Thee.

Make thy plan my comfort be,
Secure in pleasures promised true
Your blessings waiting for the morning
When like grass they sprout anew.

At the End of The Spear

Here is another poem that I wrote sophomore year in high school. I wrote this after spending time with Steve Saint and the man who brutally murdered his father several years earlier. As a child, Nate Saint was one of my biggest heros and so I was glad to get to meet his son, and the man who murdered him. I know this all sounds odd if you dont know the story but you will get it once you read the story.(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nate_Saint)

A man of love
fearless he stood
no loss in death
but the One's great reward

Had guns to kill
but would not use
word that would save
gave his life to say

a life lost
not taken but given
a son, a wife
still mourning their loss

he was not a fool
but gave his life
a grand reward;
his home now theirs

He is not lost
cause he gave his life
freely, with love
at the end of the spear